I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
that is very illegal...i love you.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
