"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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