Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Randomize
