I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
