btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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