Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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