she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
