He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
