PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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