U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
