Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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