I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize