OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
