you guys were way drunker than both of me
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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