My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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