I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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