the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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