There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
