hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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