just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She told me I should be a condom model.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
