The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
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