Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
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This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
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I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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