david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
last night I used snow as a chaser
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
