Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
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And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
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Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.