This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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