Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Stuck it in his pooper.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty