turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
