just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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