she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
