You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
