I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
