she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
