She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Barsexuality is the new black.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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