My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
