dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
