it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
