i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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