Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize