You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
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I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
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after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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