I like my sex mixed with concussions.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
