I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
