someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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