she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
