two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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