Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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