She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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