there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
