Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize