too bad you live with your parents still
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Terrible idea I love it
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
