It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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