I got chris browned last night
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
