you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
