some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
