I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
