so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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